As a teenager, you wouldn’t have found me hanging out at the mall or sipping coffee at the local café. Nope. I was far more likely to be wandering the local garden cemetery. I actually learned to drive on those winding cemetery roads, ate pizza by the river, and spent hours reading name after name, taking picture after picture and feeling the cool stone beneath my fingers. It was a place where the Living and the Dead existed side by side, and somehow, I felt right at home.
Naturally, the next step was the consumption of information, as one does with any hyper-fixation. I wanted to know why. Why that type of stone? Why those specific symbols? Why were some graves grouped this way, while others were set apart? I wasn’t content with just wandering—I needed answers.
Now, as an adult, my fascination with cemeteries has only deepened. It’s not just about how and why cemeteries exist or their history. For me, the most intriguing part is the symbolism etched into headstones, also known as cemetery iconography. Every detail has meaning, and it’s like solving a mystery in plain sight.
After sharing a few fun facts on Instagram, I figured it was time to dig deeper and actually compile this information. This way, you can join me in wandering through cemeteries, spouting random tidbits, and maybe even thinking about what you might want on your own headstone. (Trust me, there are more options than you’d think!)
To make it easier to follow, I’m breaking everything down into digestible sections, starting with one of my favorites—flowers and plants. Cemetery iconography is like using a secret decoder to express grief or tell the story of a life lived. The type of plant matters, sure, but so does its condition—whether it’s in full bloom or fading—revealing even more about the person it represents.
So, let’s dive in and start decoding the beautiful, symbolic language of the Dead!
Bellflower (Campanula) – Known for its associations with constancy and gratitude, bellflowers also symbolize religious bells, reflecting a spiritual connection. In Scotland, it is often known simply as bluebell, also called "Fairy flowers".
Bud – Often seen on the gravestones of a child, buds symbolize the fragility of life, cut short. Broken buds especially signify the fleeting nature of life. Rose buds, in particular, represent the passing of time.
Buttercup – A symbol of cheerfulness, the bright and sunny buttercup evokes feelings of lighthearted joy.
Crocus – Symbolizes the fresh and vibrant joys of youth.
Calla Lily – Often used to symbolize marriage or resurrection, capturing a sense of grace and spiritual renewal.
Daffodil – With rich associations to death, youth, and desire, the daffodil symbolizes rebirth and resurrection. It is connected to both the underworld and paradise, representing the cyclical nature of life and death.
Daisy – Derived from the Old English phrase "the e'e of the day," meaning "day's eye," daisies are revered for their resilience. They symbolize the innocence of Christ and are often used to mark the graves of children.
Dandelion – Frequently found on children’s gravestones, dandelions symbolize love, grief, and the fragility of life. In Victorian symbolism, they encapsulated the delicate balance between life and loss.
Dead Leaves – A reminder of sadness and melancholy, dead leaves evoke the inevitable passage of time and the sorrow that accompanies it.
Evening Primrose – Representing eternal love, youth, memory, hope, and sadness. Complex symbolism tied to both joy and grief.
Fern – Associated with sincerity. The dagger fern being an evergreen marked the promise of life after death. Suggesting a quiet resilience and endurance.
Forget-me-not – As its name suggests, this flower symbolizes remembrance and the deep, enduring ties that connect loved ones across time.
Iris – Named after the Greek word for "rainbow," the iris is associated with the messenger goddess Iris, who bridged heaven and earth. Egyptians revered the iris for its medicinal properties, and it appears frequently in ancient hieroglyphs. There was a renewed interest in all things Egypt during the 20th century largely due to the discovery of King Tut's tomb.
Ivy – Hardy and evergreen, ivy symbolizes memory, immortality, friendship, and fidelity. Its also incredibly difficult to get rid of established ivy, reflecting the lasting bonds that cannot easily be severed.
Laurel – Victory, distinction, eternity and immortality. especially when fashioned in the shape of a wreath.
Lily – Traditionally linked to youth, innocence, and femininity, the lily holds deep spiritual significance. In Greek mythology, it was sacred to Hera, queen of heaven, while in Christianity, the white lily represents the purity and chastity of the Virgin Mary. Its cup shape has come to symbolize resurrection and renewal.
Lily of the Valley – A symbol of the return of happiness, this delicate flower also represents purity and humility, embodying a sense of gentle grace.
Lotus – The lotus represents purity, sanctity, and enlightenment. Its ability to rise above murky waters to bloom beautifully symbolizes spiritual awakening and triumph over adversity.
Morning Glory – Morning glories are associated with resurrection, mourning, youth, and farewells, marking transitions and the passage of time.
Magnolia – Symbolize dignity, nobility, and perseverance.
Oak – It was common to place the graves of children near oak trees as it represented the tree of life. It stands for hospitality, strength, honor, and eternity, providing a sense of timeless continuity.
Olive Branch – Symbolizing longevity, fertility, maturity, fruitfulness, and prosperity, the olive branch has long represented peace. It is sometimes linked to the goddess Athena and used to indicate that a soul has departed in peace.
Pine – Symbolizing fertility, regeneration, and fidelity, pine trees represent eternal life and endurance, echoing nature's cycle of death and renewal.
Poppy – Associated with peace and rest, the poppy has narcotic properties that link it to sleep and death. Its blood-red hue is also a reminder of Christ's passion and sacrifice.
Rose – A symbol of love, the rose is often found on headstones to represent the love that remains, the love that has been lost, and the love we long for. In Victorian times, it was often used to mark the grave of a woman.
Sunflower – Representing the divine light of God, sunflowers symbolize devotion, particularly to the Catholic Church. As they grow, young sunflowers follow the sun, but when fully grown, they permanently face east. Christian graves are sometimes orientated towards the rising sun.
Thistle – Endurance and victory. Their spiny edges evoke one who is barbed but has a soft heart. Love that endures suffering. Thistle roots were often used to dispel melancholy. Associated with the worldly love of Aphrodite as well as the Virgin Mary. Associated with the crown of thorns and the passion of Christ.
Tree Trunk – Often depicted with broken branches, a tree trunk symbolizes eternity and humanity. The number of broken branches appearing on the tree trunk may indicate deceased family members buried at the same site. Broken branches can also represent a life cut short similar to broken pillars. May indicate a member of the woodmen of the world society
Weeping Willow – A symbol of mourning, the drooping branches of the weeping willow evoke the sorrow of those left behind. It, along with the urn, replaced earlier Memento Mori symbols of death, reflecting a more subdued grief.
I could go on forever about each plant and flower, diving into endless details and history, but I wanted to keep things simple for now. This guide is the perfect starting point for your next cemetery walk—easy to pull up and reference as you explore.
One of my favorite things to recommend: talk out loud as you discover the meanings of these symbols. Acknowledge the names and the life of the grave not just the symbols on their stone. And always leave a little offering—even something as small as a penny at the gate.
Happy deciphering!
Book Rec's
Stories in Stone, A Field Guide to Cemetery Symbolism and Iconography by Douglas Keister
The Archeology of American Cemeteries and Gravemarkers by Sherene Baugher, Richard Veit
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